3 year old tantrums!!

[LollYp*p]

Anyone out there have a 2-3 year old that constantly chucks tantrums??
I know tantrums are a common thing in toddlers, but does it ever stop?? & how do you deal with them emotionally??
I have a just turned 3 year old and she refuses to have dinner, she screams and kicks when its time to have a shower or bath, she cries when we dress her and hates brushing her teeth!
We've tried making bath-time with toys fun & exciting, having "who eats the carrrot first" competitions, letting her dress herself etc etc but she hates being told what to do and nothing seems to work.
She's a very active, funny, loud & outgoing gorgeous angel every other time, but living with these tantrums tend to put us all in a bad mood and then the rest of us get upset with each other.
Anyone got ideas or just similar situations that will make me feel better about it all ?

[kristin81]

hi,LollYp*p my children are 5 and 7. sounds like your daughter wants some more control of her life. my daughter was the same hated baths and never wanted to get dressed. i would get my daughter to have a bath in a baby bath she loved being able to get in and out by herself. when it come to getting dressed i would put two sets of clothes on the bed and she would pick what she wanted to wear. most times she would mix and match with what was out so be careful of what you put out.and most things we did she had two choices she got two choices for tea and what ever she choose she had to eat. it does take a bit but just imagine what life would be like being told what to do all the time with no choices.
does she interact with other children ie daycare/kindy? sometimes they copy others like a parrot. or older siblings?
hope this helps.

[theadultstore]

my 3 yo daughter is doing my head in with her tantys. over nothing you even look at her and she starts. my son was never this bad.

[cuteegirlee]

My son is turning 5 soon... tantrums are a what kids do to find out their boundaries and learn how us parents deal with it... it's essentially a game of wits, and often kids can win, if the parent isn't prepared for the 'game'.

I once had a stand off with my son when he was 4. We stayed in the bathroom for over 2 hours until he let me cut his fringe... it was the hardest thing i've done watching him go from happy to sad to crying to happy, it was an emotional roller coaster for both of us, it was really, really, really hard seeing my son so upset when all i could have done is not cut his fringe! But that was not what it was about... all that time i NEVER got angry or upset, I just told him what the deal was (I cut your fringe and we can leave), and that i love him with all my heart. NO MATTER WHAT .....

"Well I hate you dad!!!!!! - you're mean!!".

My son cursed me but i still gave him love and cuddles during this 2 hours to help him through it... I didn't break and was prepared to have lunch in the bathroom too. I was there just as much to help as I was to make him do as i asked.

I won the game... he let me cut his hair and he was sooooo proud he got through it and gave me cuddles all day... he knows now that no matter how hard it gets, no matter how much he curses me, I'll still love him unconditionally - it made our relationship stronger in so many ways - and it showed to him that i was the boss.

Did it work? it took a similar episode in the shopping centre for 1 hour and the then they stopped. He still has his moments but he knows i won't give up... he doesn't know my 'breaking point' or even if i have one, but he also knows i knows his breaking point.

Now i have a gorgeous well behaved boy who I can take anywhere and I know he'll do the right thing practically all the time (it's true)... but I'm still prepared to do another 2 hour session if 'we' need to.

Don't get me wrong i give him space to rebel and fight and have a dummy spits, and even get his own way - yes, he even gets his own way sometimes for no other reason than I am happy to take a step back sometimes... he needs that, but I have my limits and we both deep down understand and respect that.

I won the game... but more importantly i showed him that my love is there for him all the time no matter what. And that is what kids need to know... that no matter how hard things get, their parents will love them and support them and protect them.

Be firm, be consistent, be patient, be supportive and most of all be loving with all your heart, but do it now.... it gets harder the longer you leave it and easier the longer you do it.

To this day i get teary thinking about what I put him through but I know in my heart it has made him, me and us better people. I'm sure my son remembers but he would remember how much love i kept for him and how proud he was that he got through it...

We are soo close and love each sooooo much words can't begin to describe how much.

Good luck....

[azrenne]

i know this is a serious thread, but really, i feel like in society today that i am encountering more and more adults with the 'terrible twos' - the tantrums and dramas are amazing!!

and likewise as you would need to do the above to deal with the terrible twos in kiddies does it actually also work on those kiddies who havent grown up...